Fireflies, Owl City

Update: If it works out, the plan is for me to leave for five months instead of three.

Story behind the update: On Sunday, September 27, I was talking to Mrs. Samuels, the woman who has made this whole trip possible for me. She asked how long I was planning on staying in Kenya. That struck me as odd, considering that she was the one who suggested I leave for three months and that her saying that was the reason I had planned it to be that way. I explained this to her, and she responded by saying (in a paraphrase),

"I know that's what I initially said, but you are a woman who likes a challenge. You embrace challenges, and I think an extra couple of months would be good for you. If you went for three months, that would be good, but you would only just be starting to adjust to the culture, just starting to learn the language, just starting to really drench yourself in what you will be doing. If you stay longer, however, you will move past the adjusting phase and really experience your purpose in being there."

When she sensed my hesitation to speak, she told me to think about it, pray about it, emphasized to search out scripture for answers, to talk to my parents about it, and see what happens.

This is what happened when I got off the phone. I couldn't stop thinking about what Mrs. Samuels had just told me. Eventually I broke down in tears, not out of fear, not out of sorrow, but out of...knowing. Knowing that this is what I want to do, need to do, and better do (for the sake of only God knows what...literally--only God knows what).

After my "tear fest", I picked up my one and only prayer journal from a few years ago. This is what I had written exactly two years ago to the day:

"Please get me out of this dump, Lord...I desperately need Your understanding! Lord, please speak! Today I pray that through Scripture [remember what Mrs. Samuels told me to do?] I would hear what Your will is for me to do about the Dominican Republic [a mission trip that i wasn't sure if I should go on at the time]. I'm so lost."

Beneath what I wrote was Psalm 119:125, "I am Your servant; give me understanding, that I may know Your testimonies."

Now, the fact that this verse was from Psalm 119 really hit me. The week I had spent praying about where I should go this year, Psalm 119 came up constantly: in my devotional time, in a text from a friend, in both books I was reading at the time, in a sermon one Sunday at church...like I said, constant. Here I was again, trying to figure out plans for this year, and what verse shows up but one from Psalm 119.

My parents are still supportive. My mom has a beautiful mother's intuition--she already expected me to be in Kenya for longer than three months and is very excited for me. My dad is proving his unbelievable patience--he's allowing his little girl to follow her heart, no matter how hard it may be on him. I couldn't ask for more supportive parents through all of this.

Needless to say, I am still planning on leaving in the beginning of November, however, I think I'll be gone a little longer than I expected.

"'For I KNOW THE PLANS I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" ~Jeremiah 29:11